Hadn’t even left and I was already stressed. Already annoyed by what was to come. Land on the ground and immediately angered. By a friend.

Taken advantage of. This is not how life is supposed to work. I’m done.

I want him back.
I think I’ll win.

I don’t know what I was dreaming of, but I woke up and I was lonely for it.

This isn’t super important, and it’s not really a secret, but I guess it’s still not something I want him to read. Vulnerability is awkward to me.

I’m really happy he’s my roommate. He understands my vulnerable problems. He knows how to handle my awkward and uncomfortable times. That I can walk around the apartment in a bra and shorts and not be stared at or feel judged. That I can sit in a room of people are feel completely out of place and not looked at like a moron. That I can have a completely irrational reaction and not treated like a crazy bitch. That I can tell him I think my boobs got bigger and they hurt and he can not awkwardly point out that they did get bigger and blame the birth control. That we can giggle about really old inside jokes, and new ones that happen daily. That we can scream at each other about anything and think it is absolutely hilarious. That we find hilarity in confused expressions. 

He’s one of the incredibly few who knows how I work. He didn’t try to figure me out, he has always just taken me exactly as I am and gone with the flow.

He’s my best friend, he always has been, and is the best roommate I could have ever asked for. I want to spend this next year taking full advantage of our time together.

I need you above anything else.

And for someone to listen.

Oh right…music. All day, every day.